The Crystal Lewis Blog

you gotta love Moses.  i can so relate to his protests.  if i may, let me paraphrase the conversation between God and Moses in Exodus 3/4.

God: go tell Pharaoh that my people are done being his slaves, and they’re leaving.

Moses: me?  why me?

God: I will go with you

Moses: um, but what if they ask me your name?  i don’t even know your name…

God: I AM

Moses: ok. ok. but what if they don’t believe me?

God: do this, throw your staff down. (he does so, and it becomes a snake)

Moses: aahhh!!!!

God: pick it up

Moses: WHAT??!!

God: pick it up

Moses: (he picks it up by the tail and the snake turns back into a staff) whoa!

God: do that

Moses: yeah, but…

God: stick your hand inside your coat (he does, and when he pulls it out, it’s decaying and diseased)

Moses: aaahhhh!!!

God: do it again (Moses does it again and this time when he pulls his hand back out, it’s restored and whole again)

Moses:  whoa!

God: do that.  oh, also, if they still don’t believe you, take a cup full of water from the Nile and pour it on the ground.  it will turn to blood. that should do the trick.

Moses: yeah, maybe, but there’s something else, i’m not very good with words.  i never have been, i just stammer and st-st-st-stutter all the t-t-t-time.

God: AND WHO MADE YOUR MOUTH!! WHO GIVES SIGHT TO SOME AND ALLOWS OTHERS TO BE BLIND?  WHO ALLOWS SOME TO HEAR AND SOME TO SPEAK AND OTHERS TO BE MUTE OR DEAF???  IT IS I!!! now go, i will help you speak, i will tell you what to say.

Moses:  uh, the truth is, i don’t want the job.  send someone else. please.

the Bible says that God’s anger burned against Moses! and indeed, He allowed Moses’ brother Aaron to come along side and help.  but oh my, i would not want God burning up with anger towards me!  why did it take so long for Moses to trust God? God matched every protest and excuse with something magnificent and miraculous, showing clearly his ability to follow thru and fulfill his plan.  yet Moses, he just couldn’t accept the fact that God had chosen him.  faults and frailties and all.

i guess i like Moses so much because i’ve been there too.  i’ve been in that place where trusting doesn’t come easily.  where my insecurities and inabilities hover just above my head, like a big dark cloud looming, and i can’t see the big, bright, blue sky because of it.  i love what 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 says:

“Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.”

if we were so super awesome and powerful, then what need would we have of a savior?  but God chose us. the regular, normal, everyday us.  he is fully aware of our short-comings, and wants us to surrender to and trust him completely, wholeheartedly abandoned to his extravagant love.  i desperately need him to speak for me!  to sing through me!  to walk with me! to comfort, shelter, protect, inspire, restore….

i, like Moses, would just be a mumbling, bumbling idiot without Jesus!

3 days after this past Christmas, my friend Jeanne was taken home to Heaven.  she had been battling breast cancer for 16 years.  she was 52 years young.  she was in and out of remission, in and out of treatment, yet always in love with Jesus!  truly, i’ve never seen anything like it.  the woman was IN LOVE with Jesus.  in every conversation, whether she was talking with a believer or an unbeliever, she made sure it turned in the direction of her savior.  she was fearless.  in every way.  she jumped out of planes, she skied with the US olympic ski team years ago…just for fun.  Jeanne was able to easily merge into any crowd.  she could mix in with the extremely wealthy…and get them to give abundantly to causes close to her heart…and she could just as easily mix with people in prison who she’d often go to visit.  Jesus was not only the focus of her conversations but of her life as well.   i’ve never met anyone who was so clearly, obviously, head-over-heels in love with Jesus!

do you ever just sit and watch couples that are engaged or newly married? if you’re married, do you remember what it was like when you were dating/engaged?  while i was going through some things in our attic recently, i came across some letters that Brian and i wrote to each other during that time in our lives, over 20 years ago!  they are stacked neatly with red ribbon tying them together, so cute!  i pulled a few out and began to read them.  whoa!  i had completely forgotten how lovey-dovey we were!  how enamored we were with each other…how wholly and entirely in love we were.  not to say we aren’t in love now!  quite the contrary…love grows stronger in a Godly marriage.  and then children change things, making love healthier, hopefully, and more solid.  and with time your love for each other strengthens and deepens…it grows up.  but i think it’s vitally important that we don’t lose sight of that initial phase of crush, desire, passion…true love…first love.

and does that not characterize our love-relationship with the Lord as well?  we start out strong, but time and life and distractions can mute or dampen our feelings if we let them. let us not be like the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2 that is accused of ‘forsaking their first love’.  let’s live in constant remembrance of what Jesus has done for us!!  what he is doing in us!! and what he wants to do through us!!

that is how Jeanne lived.  i was always inspired by her life, but now, even more so in her death.  one friend said…”Jeanne was like someone that was always covered with glitter.  and when she hugged you that glitter got all over you and you couldn’t get it off!”  YES!!  may Jesus be that obvious in my life!  i want my love for him to be that infectious.  another friend said,” i feel like Jeanne has passed us the baton and it’s our turn to live for Jesus like she did.”  YES!!  i want to run this race with endurance and perseverance, and throw aside the sin that so easily entangles and hinders me from doing so. (Heb 12:1).  i want to live a life characterized by my obvious, giddy, love for JESUS.  just like Jeanne.

who remembers that DC Talk song???  ’God is doin’ a new thang…’

i do, oh yeah…i go back that far!  well guess what? God is STILL doing new things!  every year as i make new years resolutions, i find myself getting discouraged because those resolutions are typically the same ones as the previous year!  how disappointing that i didn’t conquer this, or change that…

but i am reminded, right now, new years day, Jan. 1, 2010, that “I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]” (Philippians 4:13, Amplified Bible)

and as God prepares to do -yet another- ‘new thing’ in me this year, this day, i hear Him again say…

“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history.

Be alert, be present.  I’m about to do something brand-new.  It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?

There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.” (Isaiah 43:19)

my prayer is this: oh Father, open my ears and eyes to hear and see what new things you want to do in me.  soften my heart that i might be willing and wholly surrendered to you so i can accept whatever it is…not just accept it but embrace it!!  i commit this coming year to you and ask you to bless my endeavors as i seek to honor you with all you’ve given me to do as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an artist…

HAPPY ‘NEW THING’ YEAR!!!