The Crystal Lewis Blog

Psalm 51

(abbreviated, abridged, my adaptation; the message and NIV)

“…generous in love–God, give grace!  huge in mercy–wipe out my bad record.  scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in your laundry.  i know how bad i’ve been; my sins are staring me right in the face.

YOU, oh God, are the one i’ve violated, and you’ve seen it all,  you’ve seen the full extent of my evil, my mistakes.  you have all the facts before you; and whatever you decide about me is fair…i’ll accept my punishment.  i’ve been out of step with you for a long time, in the wrong since before i was born.  deep down in my heart i know what you’re after…and if i’m truly humble and willing to surrender i can give it to you… it’s truth from the inside out.  oh Father, enter in to my heart, take me over completely…

clean me with hyssop, and i will be clean; wash me and i will be whiter than snow.

God, make a fresh start in me, make a Genesis week from the chaos and ashes that have come to define my life.  don’t throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me.  bring me back from gray and gloomy exile, put a fresh, new wind in my sails!  give me a job teaching other rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home.  commute my death sentence, God my salvation, and i’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways…i’ll let loose with your praise!

going through the motions doesn’t impress you, it doesn’t please you…a flawless performance is nothing to you.  i learned real worship when my pride was shattered.  heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice

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this Psalm was written by David after he’d been confronted by Nathan, the prophet, regarding David’s sin with Bathsheba, and it seems after he’s been convicted by the Holy Spirit of his sin.  what a beautiful picture of God’s mercy, grace and forgiveness toward each of us.  what’s going on in your life today? what’s happening in your heart?  is there something God has been trying to get you to surrender, give up, give in to, change, repent of, admit?  forgiveness awaits.  his arms of love are open and waiting to embrace you.  no matter what.  

i grew up in the church, in the pastors home more specifically… and the pastors wife happened to hold the reigns of the music department.  all that to say, church music is my background, my foundation.  and unlike others i’ve met who have turned a deaf ear to hymns and praise and worship, i still love it.  i loved it then, i love it now…church music i mean.  hymns have held a special place in my heart since childhood and i know they will continue to until the day i die.  someone else had that same heartfelt feeling about hymns… my grandmother.  i should clarify.  my mom’s mother went home to be with Jesus when i was about 10 years old.  my dad’s mother also went to heaven when i was young, as did my dad’s father.  i’m grateful that i had many moments with each of them before they flew away.  and, incidentally, both of my grandfathers were ministers in the Nazarene church, so both of my grandmothers loved the church and it’s music.  my maternal grandfather was re-married a few years after his wife died to a wonderful woman…whose own preacher-husband had passed away… named Lulu Mae.  (i know, great name!)  now, grandma Mae LOVED the hymns!  she always pounded the piano keys into a familiar melody that instantly had my sisters, my mother and i singing along.   i remember a few years back i was preparing to record my first hymns album.  i went around to each of my family members and asked for input and song suggestions.  when i asked Grandma Mae what song she thought i should sing, she answered without a second of hesitation, actually she immediately broke into song herself…

 ”but i know whom i have believed, and am persuaded that He is able

   to keep that which i’ve committed unto Him against that day.”

and as if that wasn’t enough, my grandpa joined in (who had a HUGE voice) and it was loud and long and beautiful!  my grandpa’s suggestion was ‘Blood Washed Pilgrim’.  to hear him sing that song and to hear Grandma Mae sing her song, was to know that they believed what they were singing about.  my grandpa, Rev. Roy Partain, went home to be with Jesus a few years ago at the age of 93.  Grandma Mae made her way home to Glory a couple of days ago, just shy of her 100th birthday.  i’m so proud of my heritage, the foundation on which i’ve been fortunate to build my faith and life.  i know that when Mae left this world there was no mention of it on the news, no televised memorial service or 24 hour vigil with hundreds of mourners outside her home… but her exit from Earth was overshadowed by her entrance into Heaven!!  where countless angels and friends and family welcomed her into the presence of God the Father,  her Creator, the lover of her soul….the one in whom she has believed!

I Know Whom I Have Believed (hymn #527 in  my hymnal)

i know not why God’s wondrous grace to me He hath made known

nor why, unworthy, Christ in love redeemed me for His own

              but i know whom i have believed and am persuaded that He is able

                 to keep that which i’ve committed unto Him against that day

i know not how this saving faith to me He did impart,

nor how believing in His Word wro’t peace within my heart

             but i know whom i have believed and am persuaded that He is able

                    to keep that which i’ve committed unto Him against that day

i know not how the Spirit moves, convincing men of sin

revealing Jesus thro’ the Word, creating faith in Him

              but i know whom i have believed and am persuaded that He is able

                    to keep that which i’ve committed unto Him against that day

i know not when my Lord may come, at night or noonday fair

nor if i’ll walk the vale with Him or meet Him in the air

        but i know whom i have believed and am persuaded that He is able

                 to keep that which i’ve committed unto Him against that day