The Crystal Lewis Blog

the other day as i was updating my ipod, i was going through and choosing which songs to put in which playlists and i noticed something rather ridiculous…in my itunes, the song ‘Here I am to Worship’ has the word ‘explicit’ next to it in red letters! my first reaction was…”HA!  that’s funny!”.  but after i thought about it, it occurred to me that it’s not so silly. here’s why:

i think we can all agree that the word ‘explicit’ initially brings to mind negative connotations.  when i hear it associated with a movie or a music video or a song, you can bet i’m going to steer clear.  and yet the prominent meaning of the word is not negative at all.  it means: specific, accurate, clear, obvious, fully and clearly expressed.  hmmm, how many of us live ‘explicit’ lives for Jesus?

so if i were to think of the word ‘explicit’ being associated with the song ‘here i am to worship’, i would think: how can i live a life of explicit worship to the Lord?  what can i do to show, clearly and obviously, whose i am?

brian and i were in a restaurant on one of our recent trips and we were unfortunately seated next to a table full of very loud young men.  these guys were not just amiable, good-natured, boisterous loud. they were raunchy, rude, cussing loud.  out of all the (empty) tables in the entire place, we were seated there, next to them.  once the profanity began, brian wanted to be reseated elsewhere, but i thought, since they were there before us, perhaps they’d finish soon.  and being in an unfamiliar city, quite frankly, i wasn’t sure that they (the guys at the table) wouldn’t be offended by our moving and perhaps make an issue of it…you never know what people are capable of…and i was more concerned with our safety than what i was going to have to hear. (brian was kind enough to give in to my request…he wanted to handle it differently:)  )  after several long minutes of putting up with the blatant disregard for everyone else in the restaurant, brian and i started talking a little louder.  we were talking about church stuff, family stuff, music stuff…. and we started wondering what it would be like to start blatantly worshipping!  what kind of a reaction do you think we’d have gotten had we really given those guys a run for their money in the commotion department!  singing at the top of our lungs, worshipping our Savior, calling out the in the name of the LORD!!  they didn’t seem to mind that we were offended by their speech, would they have been equally offended by ours?  could we have been as explicit in our worship as they were in their profanity?

food for thought.

you gotta love Moses.  i can so relate to his protests.  if i may, let me paraphrase the conversation between God and Moses in Exodus 3/4.

God: go tell Pharaoh that my people are done being his slaves, and they’re leaving.

Moses: me?  why me?

God: I will go with you

Moses: um, but what if they ask me your name?  i don’t even know your name…

God: I AM

Moses: ok. ok. but what if they don’t believe me?

God: do this, throw your staff down. (he does so, and it becomes a snake)

Moses: aahhh!!!!

God: pick it up

Moses: WHAT??!!

God: pick it up

Moses: (he picks it up by the tail and the snake turns back into a staff) whoa!

God: do that

Moses: yeah, but…

God: stick your hand inside your coat (he does, and when he pulls it out, it’s decaying and diseased)

Moses: aaahhhh!!!

God: do it again (Moses does it again and this time when he pulls his hand back out, it’s restored and whole again)

Moses:  whoa!

God: do that.  oh, also, if they still don’t believe you, take a cup full of water from the Nile and pour it on the ground.  it will turn to blood. that should do the trick.

Moses: yeah, maybe, but there’s something else, i’m not very good with words.  i never have been, i just stammer and st-st-st-stutter all the t-t-t-time.

God: AND WHO MADE YOUR MOUTH!! WHO GIVES SIGHT TO SOME AND ALLOWS OTHERS TO BE BLIND?  WHO ALLOWS SOME TO HEAR AND SOME TO SPEAK AND OTHERS TO BE MUTE OR DEAF???  IT IS I!!! now go, i will help you speak, i will tell you what to say.

Moses:  uh, the truth is, i don’t want the job.  send someone else. please.

the Bible says that God’s anger burned against Moses! and indeed, He allowed Moses’ brother Aaron to come along side and help.  but oh my, i would not want God burning up with anger towards me!  why did it take so long for Moses to trust God? God matched every protest and excuse with something magnificent and miraculous, showing clearly his ability to follow thru and fulfill his plan.  yet Moses, he just couldn’t accept the fact that God had chosen him.  faults and frailties and all.

i guess i like Moses so much because i’ve been there too.  i’ve been in that place where trusting doesn’t come easily.  where my insecurities and inabilities hover just above my head, like a big dark cloud looming, and i can’t see the big, bright, blue sky because of it.  i love what 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 says:

“Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.”

if we were so super awesome and powerful, then what need would we have of a savior?  but God chose us. the regular, normal, everyday us.  he is fully aware of our short-comings, and wants us to surrender to and trust him completely, wholeheartedly abandoned to his extravagant love.  i desperately need him to speak for me!  to sing through me!  to walk with me! to comfort, shelter, protect, inspire, restore….

i, like Moses, would just be a mumbling, bumbling idiot without Jesus!

3 days after this past Christmas, my friend Jeanne was taken home to Heaven.  she had been battling breast cancer for 16 years.  she was 52 years young.  she was in and out of remission, in and out of treatment, yet always in love with Jesus!  truly, i’ve never seen anything like it.  the woman was IN LOVE with Jesus.  in every conversation, whether she was talking with a believer or an unbeliever, she made sure it turned in the direction of her savior.  she was fearless.  in every way.  she jumped out of planes, she skied with the US olympic ski team years ago…just for fun.  Jeanne was able to easily merge into any crowd.  she could mix in with the extremely wealthy…and get them to give abundantly to causes close to her heart…and she could just as easily mix with people in prison who she’d often go to visit.  Jesus was not only the focus of her conversations but of her life as well.   i’ve never met anyone who was so clearly, obviously, head-over-heels in love with Jesus!

do you ever just sit and watch couples that are engaged or newly married? if you’re married, do you remember what it was like when you were dating/engaged?  while i was going through some things in our attic recently, i came across some letters that Brian and i wrote to each other during that time in our lives, over 20 years ago!  they are stacked neatly with red ribbon tying them together, so cute!  i pulled a few out and began to read them.  whoa!  i had completely forgotten how lovey-dovey we were!  how enamored we were with each other…how wholly and entirely in love we were.  not to say we aren’t in love now!  quite the contrary…love grows stronger in a Godly marriage.  and then children change things, making love healthier, hopefully, and more solid.  and with time your love for each other strengthens and deepens…it grows up.  but i think it’s vitally important that we don’t lose sight of that initial phase of crush, desire, passion…true love…first love.

and does that not characterize our love-relationship with the Lord as well?  we start out strong, but time and life and distractions can mute or dampen our feelings if we let them. let us not be like the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2 that is accused of ‘forsaking their first love’.  let’s live in constant remembrance of what Jesus has done for us!!  what he is doing in us!! and what he wants to do through us!!

that is how Jeanne lived.  i was always inspired by her life, but now, even more so in her death.  one friend said…”Jeanne was like someone that was always covered with glitter.  and when she hugged you that glitter got all over you and you couldn’t get it off!”  YES!!  may Jesus be that obvious in my life!  i want my love for him to be that infectious.  another friend said,” i feel like Jeanne has passed us the baton and it’s our turn to live for Jesus like she did.”  YES!!  i want to run this race with endurance and perseverance, and throw aside the sin that so easily entangles and hinders me from doing so. (Heb 12:1).  i want to live a life characterized by my obvious, giddy, love for JESUS.  just like Jeanne.

who remembers that DC Talk song???  ’God is doin’ a new thang…’

i do, oh yeah…i go back that far!  well guess what? God is STILL doing new things!  every year as i make new years resolutions, i find myself getting discouraged because those resolutions are typically the same ones as the previous year!  how disappointing that i didn’t conquer this, or change that…

but i am reminded, right now, new years day, Jan. 1, 2010, that “I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]” (Philippians 4:13, Amplified Bible)

and as God prepares to do -yet another- ‘new thing’ in me this year, this day, i hear Him again say…

“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history.

Be alert, be present.  I’m about to do something brand-new.  It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?

There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.” (Isaiah 43:19)

my prayer is this: oh Father, open my ears and eyes to hear and see what new things you want to do in me.  soften my heart that i might be willing and wholly surrendered to you so i can accept whatever it is…not just accept it but embrace it!!  i commit this coming year to you and ask you to bless my endeavors as i seek to honor you with all you’ve given me to do as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an artist…

HAPPY ‘NEW THING’ YEAR!!!

merry christmas all!  yes…it’s Jesus birthday…or at least the time of year that we celebrate it… but today, the 23rd, is my son Solomon’s birthday.  he is 16 years old today.  i always joke that i feel like i can relate to Mary because i had my son at Christmas time, though history tells us that Jesus was probably born at a time of year that wasn’t winter….oh well, it’s fun to imagine!

i love Christmas and celebrating the fact that God, arranging the most heroic and romantic rescue mission of all time, sent his son to save us.  literally.  go tell it on the mountain, people!!!

Joel 2:13 “…rend your HEART, and not your garments. return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love…’

In the classic devotional ‘Morning and Evening’, Charles Spurgeon beautifully elaborates on this concept of ‘rending your heart’.  The difference between rending your garments and rending your heart is the same difference between religion and relationship.  the man-made and the God-made.  The outward and the inward.  In the Bible, the religious men would rend their garments, or literally tear their clothes as a ’show’ of their religious emotion.  But the sign was just that, an outward show or sign to man of how ‘holy’ they were. Spurgeon says “garment-rending and other outward signs of religious emotion are easily manifested and are frequently hypocritical; but to feel true repentance is far more difficult, and consequently far less common.”

Heart-rending, on the other hand, is “divinely wrought and solemnly felt. It is a secret grief which is personally experienced, not in mere form but as a deep, soul-moving work of the Holy Spirit upon the inmost heart of each believer.”  it’s not something done as a show to garner attention from man, but a sweet sign to the Savior that we acknowledge our need for him.  It is ‘powerfully humiliating’ (i love that!) and “completely sin-purging…. but then it is sweetly preparative” for the work the Holy Spirit will then do in our heads and hearts.  The Psalmist says in Psalm 51:6 “surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach wisdom in the inmost place.”  i believe that rending my heart means allowing my heart to be completely exposed to the eyes of the Lord.  It involves a willingness that allows full disclosure, nothing held back.   My sin acknowledged.  My wrongs confessed.  My inmost feelings laid bare.  it is then, and there in my inmost being, when i’m empty of myself, that God can come in and fill me with his spirit, refresh me with forgiveness, do yet another new thing.  Spurgeon closes by revealing the ‘how’… “we must take our hearts to Calvary. a dying Savior’s voice rent the rocks once…and it is as powerful now.  O blessed Spirit, let us hear the death-cries of Jesus, and our hearts shall be rent…”

I pray that we will not get caught up in the ’showy-ness’ of this season but that we will allow God to get, and keep, our attention.  That we will allow him full access to our hearts.  That as our hearts break before him, we will enjoy the re-filling of his spirit in us.

oh how i love a good sword fight.  some like romantic comedy’s,but me, i’m an action/adventure fan.  movies like Lord of the Rings, Braveheart, Zorro, Gladiator, the Bourne Movies (ok, there aren’t actually swords in the Bourne films…but still…), Princess Bride, Robin Hood, Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon…you get the idea.   i think one of the reasons i love these kinds of films is the fact that the truth in them rings true in my heart.  the struggle of good vs. evil.  the seemingly impossible challenges the good guys face, and the fight to the finish.  sound familiar?  Ephesians 6:10-18 gives us a vividly clear picture of what we, yes we…as in you and i, not a character in a movie, but YOU and ME… are up against.

“…put on your armor!!  we are fighting a battle here!  not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, authorities, and powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms…” (paraphrased)

now, not to diminish the putting on of the armor…because it is in fact imperative that we do so.  I mean where would Maximus be without his breastplate or helmet?  the armor definitely provides protection from the enemy!!  and the enemy is out for blood, for destruction, for death.  we need to be protected…so put on your armor.  but what i’m really wanting to remind you of is the sword.  the ONE piece of offensive equipment we are given to fight back with.  to ATTACK with!  yes, we are not sitting ducks living in fear, hiding under our armor!  NO!  we are warriors!  we have the resources to launch our own attack on the enemy.  and what is that piece of equipment? the Sword of the Spirit…the Word of God.  hide the Word in your heart, it will serve you well!  remember, the main characters of the movies i mentioned above… Aragorn, Maximus, Robin of Locksley, William Wallace… they are protected by their armor, but they are only able to defeat their enemies by wielding their swords!

“Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world” 1 John 4:4

hello.  i just got back from a trip to the Dominican Republic where i participated in a concert celebrating the 70th anniversary of the Church of God there. it was absolutely wonderful!  my band came. my friend came. thousands of people came. a huge 450 voice choir sang with me on a couple of songs.  what looked like 100 dancers choreographed some sweet moves to 3 songs.  it was one of those events where you just think… “really??? God…you’re letting me do this super cool thing??  wow!!  thanks!!!”  i’ve posted some photos on my Official Crystal Lewis Facebook Page….

it was a difficult few days leading up to the trip though… whenever i gear up for long trips, especially international ones,  i’m usually hounded by the enemy.  anxiety, busyness, fear, worry.  all things the enemy loves to launch in my direction.  and this trip was no different.  yet God allowed me to feel his presence and peace and remember that “greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world”!!!  A Dios Sea La Gloria!!

first off, i apologize for letting so much time go by between blogs.  it has not been my intent to be so lax. i assure you i’m not asleep on the job, on the contrary… life has been moving at a light-speed-to-Endor-pace and i finally have a momentary gap in the time/space continuum to catch my breath.  (sorry, i have a sci-fi loving son and it tends to rub off.)   secondly, we just moved. (no, not out of Montana!  we’re staying put!)  now, for those of you that have ever packed up house and home and pulled up roots just me saying…”we moved” is all you need to hear to feel my pain.  right?!!   i’ve read that moving is often referred to as one of the most stressful life events you’ll encounter.  i’ve done it somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 times in the 20 years i’ve been married.  we just moved this past May, as in 5-months-ago-May and then moved again 2 weeks ago.  crazy, i know.   i think the fact that moving must take place while life still goes on at a normal pace (kids still have school, family must eat, parents still have to work etc…) is one of the things that makes it cause SO much stress physically, mentally and emotionally.  anyway, yes, it’s been a stressful few months… specifically the last couple weeks.  however, as i mentioned early on, i have a little breathing room for the moment and the pause has given me some time to think.

as i have been packing and unpacking for what seems like endless hours…. trying to find the proper and most efficient place for all of our books and bedding, shoes and socks, coats and cowboy boots, kitchen utensils and cleaning supplies, the thought, ‘i have a lot of stuff’, has crossed my mind more than once.  i spent a great deal of time during our last move weeding out the things we don’t use, can’t wear, or aren’t playing with anymore and that was a huge help this time around.  the previous move took us to a much smaller house and the act of downsizing, though difficult, was long over due.    so the fact that i’d done a lot of the difficult, dirty work before was definitely in my favor as i packed up recently.  however, as i’ve been unpacking things over the last few days, even just today, it still seems like there is no end in sight!  there is no denying it… no getting around the fact….we’ve got a lot of stuff!!  i guess when you’ve been married for 20 years and have a couple of kids, things accumulate.  although, i must say,  i’m the opposite of a pack rat to a fault.  i love throwing things away, giving things away, finding new homes for things….however you want to say it, i don’t like clutter therefore i don’t like keeping things around that i don’t intend to use.  at least that’s how i’ve always thought of myself.  but i’m currently being reminded that we have most absolutely been accumulating.  there are clothes that i can’t bear to part with…dresses that carry with them special memories of special moments…, toys my kids played with that hold precious memories, paintings my husband painted that, while they may not be my favorites of all time, i could never toss. (my favorites are all hanging in the house).  so as i take advantage of the opportunity to take inventory of all i own, i’m reminded…painfully, obviously… of Matthew 6:19-21

“do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  but store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal.  for wherever your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

last week as i went thru our garage where we’ve kept some things stored over the summer, i came across a box of clothes that i’ve loved over the years.  i don’t wear most of them anymore, but i’m excited to pass them on to my daughter, and perhaps a granddaughter, someday.  i found mouse droppings in the bottom of the box.  gross.  thankfully not on the clothes themselves, but close enough! however, one of the jackets was destroyed.  it was stripped of some of the fur on it’s sleeves, and the mice ate thru several different places, leaving wholes and tears in the fabric.  i might be able to salvage it…turn it in to something else maybe…but i thought of this verse above.  it wasn’t rust and it wasn’t moths, but mice can be just as destructive.

the things i’ve accumulated on this earth, while not evil, not even bad, can still cloud my vision of purpose.  my focus can so easily be diverted.  i truly believe that we fight an enemy that ultimately wants to see our destruction (1 Peter 5:8), but happily settles for our distraction.   my goal, as i (hopefully) finish up putting things away this week, is to make the effort, to purpose in my heart, to put the important things first.  to store up for myself more in Heaven than i have stored up on earth.  thank you Jesus for being my treasure.

jumping off of a cliff is not my idea of fun.  whether it is a not-so-high height or the ‘Cliffs of Insanity’ from Princess Bride, jumping from any elevation brings nothing but a sense of panic and pressure.  for me, simply standing close to the edge inspires anxiety and alarm, so unless my life depended on it, i’d rather just remain safely on the ground, thank you.  therefore, when i read James 1:2 this past week, the visual that came to mind was of nothing less than a ledge.

James 1:2  ”….consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds…”

wait…what???  trials and joy seem like polar opposites at first glance!  i mean, what could bring less joy into your life than a trial?  right???  when i think of the trials i’ve encountered over the years i remember the hurt and the pain, the frustration and confusion, the anxiety and the fear that typically accompanied them.  i remember one year in particular, we were going thru a situation that seemed impossible.  our hands were tied.  we couldn’t fix the problem…it wasn’t like there was a decision that we could easily make and therefore ease the stress of the thing.  we simply had to wait it out.  later, when we could look back on it, i found myself describing my experience as one where i felt like God had led us to the edge…our toes hanging over… our footing unsteady…. but he brought us back just in time.

here in Montana there is a great big lake that we love to take friends and family out on when they come to visit.  we know of a spot on the lake where there are some rocks that are just perfect for jumping off of and into the glacial water…if you’re into that sort of thing.  the nice thing about these rocks is that once you climb up out of the water you can choose from what height you’d like to jump.  there is a nice low spot (perfect for you know who) and a crazy high spot for all the dare-devils.  i’ve taken part in this tomfoolery  a handful of times, each time vowing i will never again engage in such madness.  but i must admit, confess really, that there is a moment …albeit a fleeting one… whereby i am truly engaged.  that moment when i count to 3 (for the umpteenth time) and i finally fight my fear off long enough to actually force my brain to tell my legs to ‘GO’!  i am swept up in the split second between breathing and falling and preparing to hold my breath and i’m thrilled.  then i hit the water and it hurts.  but there was that flash of fun…

did you notice that in James 1:2 he said pure joy?  not just plain joy, but pure joy.  what does that even mean?  i’m still figuring that out, and perhaps i will be working on it all along my life’s journey home,  but as of now what i believe it to mean is this:  when we encounter trials and difficulties in our lives, and we most definitely will, we need to look at them as something that God can/will use to grow us into the men and women that he desires for us to be.  (beauty out of the ashes, you know)  that ultimate outcome, as we trust that God has the entirety of our lives perfectly planned and carefully calculated, is our goal.  getting there isn’t always easy, but it is worth it.  and that should bring into being JOY!  as much as it might hurt.  as difficult as it might be.  as scary as it might seem.  we can trust in his perfect plan 100%.  do you believe that he knows?  do you believe that he cares?  then we should be able to envision ourselves on a cliff.  standing with toes over the edge, the thrill of what we know will be all at once scary and exhilarating pounding in our hearts.  then throwing ourselves off with reckless abandon, knowing that we’ll land in the arms of our father who loves us more than anything.